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words by Lissomer

Poetry by IrrevocableFate

Poetry by Vigilo

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Submitted on
March 9
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18 (who?)
        And you know that I love you,
                  here and now,
             but never for forever;

   The future is not, and it never will be.

What We Love

When I was born,
           I opened my eyes.
I said, “I am value in a world of appreciation.”

Thine Sanctum, Darkness

There are two kinds of people in this world,
                       black and white,

           Those terrified of darkness,
Who scurry to shoo it away with the sob of a lamp,
As unable to cross their boundaries as they are
           Unable to see beyond them.


           Those clutching darkness,
Who sneak to shut away with the squeals of curtains drawing,
As unable to be bound by their crosses as they are
           Unable to see beyond them.

Darkness is not comfort.
             is not peace.
             is not calm.

No, darkness is not.
           A stark contrast,
A tireless night spent tossing
Knowing full well that a new day is coming,
           but also that one is forever gone.

           Darkness is tears and pain,
           But also a strange fascination,
A soft pillow that reassuringly chafes the tips of your ears.

           God’s shadow on Earth.

Thine Sanctum, Light

           A child sits in his chair
listless to all but the carving of his name into his seat,
the relaxing monotony of a foreign future;
he wants to leave his mark on this world
so that he can pass with no regrets.

We bear no burden of proof,
We need not make appeals to ourselves.

What We Love Is Not Enough

When I was reborn,
           I opened my eyes.
I said, “I am decadence in a world of entropy.”

Thine Sanctum, Silence

There are two kinds of people in this world,
                       black and white,

           Those terrified of silence,
Who live in a perpetual state of motion,
As unable to reject themselves as they are
           Unable to reject others.


           Those clutching silence,
Who live in a perpetual state of remotion,
As unable to embrace themselves as they are
           Unable to embrace others.

Silence is not stillness.
          is not peace.
          is not calm.

No, silence is not.
           A stark contrast,
A nosebleed running unchecked,
Gently guided by primal palisades
           To split a child’s face.

           Silence is tears and pain,
           But also a strange fascination,
A metallic tinge on the tip of the tongue.

           God’s clay before the kiln.

Thine Sanctum, Noise

           A woman sits in her chair
listless to all but the doctor carving from her a name,
anesthetized by the tireless press of past mistakes
yet comforted that this child would not be
a stray mark on this world of regret.

We bear no burden of proof,
We need not convict ourselves.

What We Loved Is Not

When I was passed,
           I closed my eyes.
I said, “I am purpose in a world that no longer exists.”

Thine Sanctum, Death

There are two kinds of people in this world,
                       grey and greyer,

           An effete society
Weighing the pros and cons of morality
And debating – ceaselessly debating –
How best to make 'their' business our own
      – wealth or prestige or sex –


           A decrepit system,
The polarized 'right and wrong' of no compromise
And debate on whether it would be better
           to cease, or to desist;
On how best to improve everything else
             - for no one else -
To perceive building ourselves higher.

But life was not stillness.
          was not peace.
          was not calm.

No, life was not.
           A stark contrast,
A persistent defining of oneself
By every tiny thing we didn’t do
           that was done by another.

           Life was tears and pain,
           but also a strange fascination,
A beautiful stain of accidents and happenstance,
A fate that you will never wish to wash out.

God’s halcyon domain, finger-painted.

Thine Sanctum, Life

           A man sits in his chair
Listless to all but the carvings of laws into stone
Consumed by the hunger of sculpting the future,
Dictating that no woman [nor man] should have the right
To choose to leave regret behind and live in a markless world.

The mistake was in acknowledgment,
The acceptance of any and every argument;
The mistake was in the pursuit of resolution
As if the journey would bring us to a new beginning;

           No. This, my friend, is an end.
A triptych’s worth of words all to say
Take comfort in what comforts come
Find happiness in the little things
Appreciate the beauty of a moment
In every moment that you’re blessed to experience.

Written for and submitted :iconwriters--club:.
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hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The structure of this one is so interesting! I've never seen anything like it.
Carmalain7 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
Thank you so much!

The reason you probably haven't seen much like it is that it's a result of my attempt to capture a visual artistic style, the triptych, in a literary form.

I was inspired by a lot of religious paintings, especially artist Hieronymus Bosch's works, to create standalone pieces that can exist independently, but also paint a picture of progression when together.

It was not easy in the slightest and I probably will never try it again, haha, but I really couldn't be happier with the results (though, I keep going back to the beginning to try and find a way to make it more engaging, to no avail).

Hope that sheds some light on the process; thanks again!
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I didn't see the shape it took, but the different heading levels showed me when points transitioned, so I knew it'd be something visual. Thanks for describing it to me!
Astrikos Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014   General Artist
I got chills when I finished reading this!

I have to say, this is remarkably written. 
The repetition is beautiful, especially the phrases you used over and the ones that you didn't. I'm not so sure that makes sense, but I really love the style of this piece. 

Your diction and images were both powerful and strikingly creative. 
I also enjoy the title. 

Beautiful work! :heart:
Carmalain7 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014
Thank you so much, good miss. It's an absolute honor to hear such from someone I respect so thoroughly for your involvement in this community, an absolute honor.

I think some of the most important things said in this piece are the ones not repeated, it creates differentiation and that provides meaning - so maybe you make perfect sense.

Astrikos Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2014   General Artist
Aww, you're pretty amazing in the community yourself!

I agree! 
Vigilo Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Student Writer
I really like this, from title to end. (Especially title and end.) What I also really, really like is the sub-titles (sub-headings? I never know the difference) and the endings of each sections; I like, okay, love, "God’s shadow on Earth." and "God’s clay before the kiln." and "God’s halcyon domain, finger-painted." especially. And I like all the repetition - "Unable to see beyond them" - and echoes in this, you always do those really well.

Like I said, I really like your ending - it's very meta, if meta's the right word (I'm 60% sure it is?) which is awesome. (Actually, it sort of reminds of Levi's last sentence in The Periodic Table, where he does that thing, "
It is that which at this instant, issuing out of a labyrinthine tangle of yeses and nos, makes my hand run along a certain path on the paper, mark it with these volutes that are signs: a double snap, up and down, between two levels of energy, guides this hand of mine to impress on the paper this dot, here, this one." - anyway, I'm being tangential, sorry.) And the second-last line. Wow. Those last two lines are really wonderful, don't change those (and of course the semicolon helps).

Though, I do think your beginning could be better and as good as your ending - of course, it could just be me, but "And you know that I love you" doesn't somehow have the same strength to it as your ending or even everything that comes after it? I don't think it's the content or the sentiment, so to speak, as much as the diction - I really like the lines that come after that line, but the diction of the first line doesn't seem to mesh (for me) with the tone of the following lines. It doesn't seem as - 'new', somehow, if that makes sense, or as revelatory as, say, "here and now". I think it's the 'and' - it makes it seem like a half finished sentiment, which doesn't quite go with the tone of the rest of the following lines - but I'm not sure. Anyway, this could just be me, but if I had to critique something, it's that the first line, because I think you could make it better.

Apart from that, really lovely. I mentioned repetition and echoes, but I have to re-mention them because the triptych structure you have going here is really so good for those. The "I opened my eyes", "I opened my eyes", and "I closed my eyes", with the born / reborn / passed idea is so - I need a better word than 'cool' or 'neat', but it really is. Can I also ask what you meant by 'passed'? Because I'm reading all sorts of things into it, all of which are mostly coming about my ideas of reincarnation, which are all Hindu-based, and of course, I could be totally off-base about that, which is why I'm curious.

Anyway, I really like the repetitions/small twists/echoes/etc, because they make it the poem like a progression of ideas but - because of the triptych structure - also able to be read as stand-alone ideas, so it's both dynamic and static at the same time. Triptychs are so cool, really, and this is really great, I'm going to stop before I become even more incoherent. Thanks for the lovely read. (And sorry about the messy/potentially-probably-misinterpretative commentary, I hope it's at least entertaining, if not useful. :lol:) :heart:
religiouscornrose237 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh my God.
I give up. If this is what I'm up You are so going to OWN the third round.
Carmalain7 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
While I very much appreciate, and am honored by the compliment, I think you are doing yourself a disservice, miss.

I definitely play to my strengths in my writing - and am blessed to have the grasp that I do on what those strengths are - but there is much and more that I cannot do effectively with the written word. For example, a clever narrative that can have multiple meaning and is told in a difficult dialect to portray in writing; I would be quite hard pressed to capture that feel and keep it linear, but you truly did a great job with it.

So yes, while my thanks cannot convey how honored I am by your praises, I do think you aren't giving yourself enough credit, good miss.
Even so, thank you so much, and nothing but the best of luck to you.
religiouscornrose237 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Student General Artist
Well...thank you, sir. Your poem is truly amazing, though, you have to admit. Best of luck to you as well.
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