Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour

:iconcarmalain7: More from Carmalain7

More from deviantART


Submitted on
October 20, 2013


720 (6 today)
71 (who?)
I: Halfsleeper

                        I fell in love, once.

A snowstorm melting from my hair - dripping cataract:
            diluted coffee. A dark room filled with language
so beautiful, I almost understood what was said.

Children are getting younger, and this land has no end,
            where do you rest your head?

All things are in a constant state of vibration,
            a harmony in the space between
                        our fingers. our hands.
            I’ve only ever stopped to listen at night:
two a.m. train rides, staring at fields as they pass my window,
touching the glass to make sure it's real – half hoping to fall through
            before being tapped on the shoulder and woken up.

            All the while, Summer is slipping away.
                        no, is gone.

II: I Hope You'll Pick Me Out

            ”You know, cataracts are beautiful”
                                    you said,

                        ”Pain is beauty.”

Blurry eyed, I said I didn’t. and I don’t.

III: These Fires Make the World Burn Brighter

            I enjoy chasing sunspots to the edges of my perception,
they pretend to chase me back, but I know they're just trying to make me feel better
                        while I search for you.

All I remember now is how much my fingertips stung.

            I always wondered if this was Heaven,
                        or just Atlantic City -
but there was something so poetic about not knowing,

so I choose to not know that most of my favorite stars in the sky
                        are now dead.
på toget i den forkerte sted.

I cried the first time I ever wrote anything.
I'm still not sure it ever really happened at all.

Inspiration: :iconintricately-ordinary: *intricately-ordinary's Before I Can Become a WriterDevelop insomnia. Develop
problems with substance abuse,
nothing serious, but enough
that I can say “write drunk,
edit sober” and mean it.
Drink tea. Write about drinking
tea. Take up smoking, ignore
the thoughts about it being
a slower suicide. Write about
suicide. Don’t mean it.
Write about sunsets and
ink veins. Mean it.
Fall in love with someone
who will never love me back.
Lament. Write a million
crappy poems and two good
ones. Never show him.
Move on. Write a few more
bad poems. Fall in love with
someone perfect. Screw it up.
Fall in love with someone awful.
Call him perfect. Screw it up.
Cry. Cry for the inevitable,
the way my family never
loved me right, the way my
first kiss was regrettable
at best, the way my therapist
says my depression is a demon
taking over me. Cry for the
changeable, the way
I hate my body and my writing
and everything I live to be.
Use clichés. Live clichés,
breathe clichés, be
a cliché. Write a poem
about ho

and all of these; every person has a story, every story told here captures another aspect of being alive. I've read them all, no two are the same, but I find something to relate to in each. No matter what you're looking for - be it satire, truth, honesty, emotion, peace, raw beauty, or better writing than my own - you will find it all here. Share people's joys and hardships, loves and losses, curiosities and failures, births & rebirths & and rebirths still. The human condition: no one is alone. I love you all.

*haphazardmelody - Why
=your-methamphetamine - how to be a writer
~WriteWhileDreaming - Before I Can Become a Writer
~chewyraezen - Before I can become a writer
*Hanajiofcards - Before I can become a writer
~xXSpiritualArtistXx - Before You Can Become A Writer
~buttons-and-bicycles - Before I Can Become a Writer
=Shpuggy - Before I Can Become a Writer
~KaizenKitty - Hope
=ssolaris - On How to Write Poetry
~DanekaBR - Before I Can Feel Normal Again
~industrialized-hippy - The Thrill of the Story
~JayDanjerCobain - Before I Can Become a Writer
`LiliWrites - The Answer is Yes
~squonkhunter - To Write
Add a Comment:

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

xlntwtch Jan 3, 2014   Writer
A very fine piece. I like it a lot. I wonder if you have a typo in the line "Blurry eyed, I said I didn't. [A]nd I don't." The capital letter is in lower case, which may what you want but strikes me as a typo. The firm lines are very pleasing. Thank you. :+fav:
Crazily enough, I actually wanted that to be lowercase. I'm not usually the type of guy to forsake such things, but it needed to be done there. Also, thank you thank you, sir. I can never undervalue the praise of such a well-read and - at least on my end - well respected writer; it means a lot.
xlntwtch Jan 3, 2014   Writer
Now I see why. I've got to concentrate more here. Good choice to use lower case.
xlntwtch Jan 3, 2014   Writer
Ah. Interesting. I'll have to read it again now to see why. Altogether I like this very much. :blushes:  ..but I'm not all that respectable. :lol:
Cionie Nov 7, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
This is something very special. I hope you continue to tell your story like this. It's the most beautiful way to connect with strangers :)
All strangers have different tastes and forms that they like to view things in, so I can make no promises on that front, but to have a stranger tell me something as honoring and beautiful as this is super humbling. What I'm trying to say is, you're the best; thank you so very much.
Cionie Nov 7, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
Of course! :heart:
nightnocturne78 Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love the last line: "so I choose to not know that most of my favorite stars in the sky are now dead" very powerful. This is a great piece.
Thank you, I'm glad it was a strong summation of the piece for you. I'm definitely known to be very picky about lines, but I'm especially hard on myself in regards to the last line of any piece, so to have it stand out to a reader truly does mean a lot.
haphazardmelody Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is absolutely phenomenal. So different than many of the other response poems I've been reading, and just so so good. :+fav:
Add a Comment: